What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
