just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
