My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
