I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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