well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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