thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
