i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize