God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize