so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
