i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
