I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
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