All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
