i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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