dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Randomize
