Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
