I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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