I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
