i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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