I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
