I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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