so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
