he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
