Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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