He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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