I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
