whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Randomize
