We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Randomize
