Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
