That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Why are your pants in the freezer?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
