went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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