so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
My ass is underappreciated
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
