Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
not ubering you a puppy
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
