Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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