Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
