sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
