Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
