found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
You were trust falling into bushes
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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