So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
