I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
