I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize