exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
