I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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