Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
