so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
