Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
