We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
