Sponge bath it is.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
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