goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
bring money and cleavage
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
