People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
