Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
A+ Viking dick
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
