i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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