Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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