ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
