Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
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