that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
