Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
The air was thick with penises
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
