He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
