Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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