Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
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